Well-being & happiness keys

Everything is within you. 

Trust me, everything you need to feel well you have inside you. You don't need anything else (external). 

Happiness is a state of mind so it cannot be infinite. It is like a wheel where you have to continuously adding air so it does not deflate. 

We all want to be in peace, in balance, to feel serene and without noise around ...achieve well-being and be happy. 

For this, we practice yoga, meditation, we try to disconnect on our vacations but sometimes it is not enough and you feel that you are not in balance, that something is wrong. 

Today we are constantly surrounded by external stimulus, we spend the day running, stressed and, curiously, we have no time for anything and ... the last thing we think about is having time for ourselves, to cultivate internally. 

We have a continuous feeling of dissatisfaction. Admit it, always being stressed is cool! You feel that your ego is satisfied. We are also addicted to urgency, addicted to that shot of adrenaline ... 

We are focused on the outside rather than on the inside, perhaps because nobody has taught us otherwise or simply because we do not know how to stop and listen to ourselves (or we are scared of it). 

If you have come so far, it is time to stop, breathe and consider that you are present, here and now. It is time to change habits to achieve the desired well-being and happiness.

To find yourself better, to find well-being there are small tools and mechanisms that if you practice them constantly and consciously you will achieve a great improvement. 

The feeling of personal well-being is the result of small internal efforts on a daily basis. 

01 _Happiness: reference points

What affects happiness? According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, a renowned expert who has been researching the science of happiness for 20 years tells us that happiness depends on: 

• 50% our genetics 
• 10% external circumstances 
• 40% our actions and thoughts 

So 40% depends on us and is under our control. 

We can work to be happier but we need our objectives, goals and reference points to be correct. 

Society has instilled in us our "goals to be happy" even more than other generations. Intuition tells us that we will be happy if we get better grades, higher wages, success, etc., but in reality this does not have a great impact on our happiness. 

When we achieve something we have desired because we think it will make us happier, we feel a satisfaction that is purely transitory and short-term. It does not fill us, it does not calm us. 

Conclusion: the objectives are not correct because they do not make us happier and our intuitions about happiness are wrong. 

Our generation, due to social networks is more exposed to stimulus and comparisons, people are not as happy, nor as beautiful as they are on the social media. People show their wonderful life, when it is not real. Social media plays a role in today's "unhappiness". But why are our expectations so bad? We continually judge in relation to everything outside, and this affects our judgment of what we really value. We can see it with a simple example, which of the black circle seems bigger to you?

Circle on the right? Your mind deceives you! In reality the two circles are the same, the only thing that is different are the reference points (circles that surround). 

That is why it is so important that our refernce points are correct and now is a good moment to rethink whether the ones we have are adequate. 

We are not aware but comparisons with our reference points make us more unhappy. The actions that do have an impact on our happiness (which we will talk about later) curiously, our intuition does not seek them. 

Continue reading to find out what really increases our happiness and well-being.

02 _ Be aware: knowing something is not enough to put it into practice

Yes, all the things we are going to talk about seem simplistic, basic and surely you already know them or have already heard about them. 

But remember that knowing something is not enough to carry it out. 

Knowing something is not enough to change your behavior. You have to put yourself to achieve changes that focus on your inside. The first thing is to have an attitude and be aware, if you are here, I am sure you have both! 

03 _ Here and now: the habit of savoring the present moment 

The daily rush prevents us from enjoying the here and now. Our mind comes and goes, jumps from one side to the other: from the past (memories) to the future with projections that have never happened. 

Therefore, it is important to be aware that the here and now is the only thing that exists, that is why you must savor every moment because it is unique. 

Savoring is the act of stepping out of an experience to observe and appreciate it in the present moment. 

How to practice it? 

• Think about how lucky you are to enjoy such an incredible moment. 
• Share your experience with others. 
• Physically displaying expressions of energy and joy such as jumping, laughing, screaming ... 

The mind never stops, thoughts come and go. Because of this sometimes we find it difficult to savor the present. Constant meditation practice helps increase concentration and awareness. We'll talk about it later. 

04_Meditation: the habit of seeing the world with full attention (mindfullness) and observing emotions and thoughts

You are not your feelings. 

You are not your perceptions, they can distort your world view. 

Our mind is not with us 46% of the time. And while the mind wanders, it scatters (what is called the "default mind" is active) and you are less happy. 

What can we do to avoid wandering of the mind? Meditation. 

Meditation is the exercise you must do to tame your mind, control your thoughts, and disconnect the default mode from the wandering mind. 

When you meditate the default mode calms down and turns off. The brain is designed to focus on things that matter to us and assigns it a positive or negative feeling. The idea of ​​mindfulness is to show an objective attitude, a distance from the things that you are paying attention to. Meditation helps you see things as they really are and with mindfulness. 

Seeing the world with mindfulness can change your feelings. For example, if you feel anxiety or anger. Anxiety can cause you to overreact. Anxiety and anger are not reliable feelings. Feelings exist to motivate behavior. Feelings influence our thoughts. With meditation you get that those feelings do not influence your thoughts. When you feel something negative, just watch it, get close to the feeling, don't judge it, accept it and let it go. 

How to practice it? 

05_Gratitude: the habit of practicing daily gratitude

Say thanks every day. Thank yourselve, the world, the people around you. It has a lot of psychological power. The more you practice gratitude, the more grateful you are for life, for everything around you, and your thoughts will become more and more positive. 

An exercise that we love and is very powerful is to write every day: 

• 3 thanks for your day + 1 thanks projected in the future (something that has not happened yet but thanks in advance). 
• 3 successes of your day + 1 success projected in the future (something that has not happened yet but you project that you are going to achieve it).

05_Kindness: the habit of practicing generosity

So simple and so powerful at the same time. Be nice and kind to the people around you on a daily basis and with strangers, maintain eye contact, lend a helping hand to those who need it, listen more, connect, speak, smile, wish them a good day, open the door to someone, are small actions based on generosity that make you happier and make you feel better about yourself. 

If you help others, you help yourself. Helping others fills the emotional void that many of us have by nature. It is a wonderful and positive cycle that can generate incalculable results in our lives. 

06_Social connection: the habit of connecting

It's funny how people living in cities feel more lonely nowadays than people living in towns. 

We are social beings, we need to connect with others, be with friends, seek quality in social relationships, be with people who add value, who contributes to our lives, enriches us, do an activity with someone, even talk to a stranger ... in short, being with people makes us happier. 

07_Compassion: the habit of practicing kindness 

The greater the compassion for others, the greater the love for oneself. 

Compassion is an emotion that helps us empathize with people. Feeling compassion is not feeling sorry for another person, it is respecting and loving what the other is, just as we love ourselves. Only by loving others, as they are, will we be able to love ourselves. 

How to practice compassion? 

Compassion for oneself 

Having compassion for yourself is essential. Working forgiveness towards oneself, connects you with compassion towards others. And it has a multiplying effect in which your joy, peace and love will grow. 

Actively listen 

If a person tells you about his problem, listen actively seeking to understand and appreciate what everything he is telling you means to the other person. You have no obligation to offer a solution, avoid talking about yourself or the times you have felt something similar. Sometimes you just have to say honestly: I'm sorry and I understand you. 

Encourage small acts of kindness 

Give acts of kindness to yourself, to the people you love and to strangers: open the door to a neighbor while you smile, pay a compliment to a coworker, write to a friend saying how grateful you are, give your time helping someone, volunteering ... Doing good for others opens a great door to receive and experience happiness and peace in our own lives. 

08_ Love my self: the habit of invest time on me 

Love yourself, love yourself a lot. 

Invest time in yourself, in healthy habits and take care of your vital energy. The more you work your body and your health you will have more vital energy, which generates more positive thoughts and helps control your mind. 

• Spend time on the activities you like: painting, cooking, walking, cultivating, reading, ... 
• Play sports 30 minutes a day 3 times a week 
• Sleep well: when you don't sleep, you are unhappier, in a worse mood and complain more. Sleep at least 7 hours following the circadian rhythm. 
• Eat Healthy 
• Drinking water 

To know more about healthy habits you can read this article. 

Muchas de las recomendaciones son extraídas de cursos y libros:

Coursera: "The Science of Well-Being" de la Universidad de Yale